Cool
by Yuki Kimagure
Summary: [AU]YAOI[RikuxSora LeonxSora] Riku anticipates seeing Sora again after their messy breakup in hopes of rekindling an old flame. Though Sora has regretfully moved on, his love for Riku might still remain. Based on the song Cool by Gwen Stefani. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do. And I don't own the song "Cool", Gwen Stefani does.

A/N: Hey you guys! Well, this one shot is kind of a random thing that came up when I watched the new Gwen Stefani music video for "Cool." The whole thing just hit me and ideas for a story started to fly up into my head. Sadly enough, the tragic couple will have to be Riku and Sora. Well, I know that you guys will still like it. It'll pretty much be a RikuxSora story still but in the end, you'll know that it wasn't meant to be. But there will be plenty of wonderful memories playing so I hope you'll still find this enjoyable. Just don't hate me and please review anyway, I know you all will still like this oneshot.

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Cool

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Riku looked over himself in the mirror for what he believed to be the fourteenth time since he woke up three hours ago. This time was the ninth time that he was looking over his present outfit of a simple deep gray button up shirt and a deep pair of black jeans with a black studded belt. His shoes were his old pair of black boots that he had polished off for hours the night before.

Raking his fingers through his long silver hair, he winced as he remembered what he had forgotten. "Shit! And he's going to be here any damn minute!" cursed Riku as he charged off into the bathroom, grabbing his cell phone with him. Grabbing his bottle of 'magic,' as he affectionately called the mixture of conditioners and feel-good-hair-things, he poured the lotion-like substance out into his hands and ran it through his tousled mane of hair, making sure to rub it into the key spots.

Looking at the time on his cell phone, he muttered out another string of cussing and pulled the brush through the long threads of silver, pulling it down the length of his neck to the middle of his chest. Then, after being pleased enough at the silkiness that it returned to, he brushed his hair back at the sides and pulled it back into a ponytail with a simple black hair tie. The layered row of bangs framed his face nicely making him give a small grin to the mirror.

Throughout all of the years, he still believed he was attractive. Well it wasn't a shocking thought since his brother was a model-turned actor and his own mother used to be a famous action actress and sex icon. Fixing his designer watch onto his arm, he hummed to himself, finding that there was nothing else in his appearance that needed to be remedied.

However he couldn't quite understand why he was so nervous today of all days. He was only to be visited by Sora after all. Thinking about it made him feel awkward though. Sighing, he looked back at the mirror with a frown.

He had every right to be jittery at the thought of seeing Sora again. It _had_ been so long since they last saw each other.

**_Pin Pon…_**

"Oh God," muttered out Riku as he felt his stomach turn six times in three seconds. Clutching to the sink, he closed his eyes and tried to find his balance. It was the moment of truth. He knew that all of the preparation would add up to this, to him opening the door and seeing the brunette again on the other side.

'What would he look like? Would he be the same? Has he changed?' he thought as he bit his lip and stared into the mirror. However, he knew that he wouldn't get to know anything if he kept him waiting at the other side of his condo's door.

'Come on Riku, if you could face snotty rich clients after missing a deadline, you can definitely greet your former best friend on the other side of a door,' he reasoned with himself as he heaved in a sigh and walked out of the bathroom towards the front door.

**_Pin Pon…_**

"Here I come!"

'Damn it, now he knows that I'm here!'

'But you invited him you dumb ass…'

'No shit… I'm screwed.'

Pulling his mind away from his inner battle, he stood in front of the door and reached out, turning the brass knob gently.

oO0Oo

"_Riku! Sora's here!" called his mother dryly from the front of the house. Brushing his barely shoulder-length hair a few more times, he ran down the stairs, scarcely making it past his mother, and pulled the obviously intimidated brunette from the doorway and out the door._

"_Bye Mom!" he called back as he dragged his friend excitedly down the pavement. His mother just sighed and lit up another cigarette before closing the door._

_After they made it halfway down the block, Riku slowed his pace to an easy walk, grinning back to his friend reassuringly._

"_Sorry about that, my mom **is** very creepy to most people," said the silver-haired teen with a chuckle. The brunette only shook his head and smiled his heart –warming smiles._

_Today was the day that they were going to the exclusive beach party on Destiny Beach and Sora had whined for weeks for him to take him. He seemed to be one of the few people at the rich island that was not invited to the social event and everyone else from the high school was going. Tidus was supposed to take the childish brunette but decided to ask his crush Kairi instead, to Riku's enjoyment._

"_It's alright. I'm still surprised that I've known you since we I was five and I've only seen your mother now for the **second** time."_

_Riku simply wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulder and nuzzled his nose into the brunette's soft and spiky hair. He always had the best smelling hair to him, carrying the scent of coconuts and lemons, everything fresh and tropical. The younger teen however blushed at this display of affection and shrunk in his embrace._

"_God Riku, I told you not in public! You know I don't care that you like me but not where everyone can see!"_

_The silver-haired teen only chuckled and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, making the brunette pull away from him with a childish pout._

"_Oh don't look at me like that Sora. No one here cares about us enough to tell anyone so don't worry. And besides, if you pout like that enough I'll have no choice but to rape you right here," Riku said with a sexy grin. _

_At the age of seventeen, most of the girls at their school had their eyes on his well bred features. However, to their disappointment, it was a pretty well known fact that he only had eyes for Sora even though his friend didn't feel anything remotely the same._

"_Don't joke like that! It's unnecessary," said the brunette in a suddenly mature manner. Riku raised an eyebrow to this and then smirked, stealing a quick kiss from his friend's lips._

"_Don't worry, I love you too much."_

oO0Oo

_**It's hard to remember how it felt before**_

_**Now I found the love of my life...**_

_**Passes things get more comfortable**_

_**Everything is going right**_

"Hey Riku!" chimed a soft masculine voice as he felt the brunette before him wrap his arms around his torso and embrace him in a gentle but excited hug. It took some time for the older man to recognize him as Sora, his childhood friend from long ago.

"S-Sora?" he managed to sputter out as he slowly hugged the man back. Nodding his head into his foreign brown hair, his mind washed over in recognition as his nose caught the familiar scents of a clean tropical breeze. Clutching him closer, he blinked back the tears that suddenly wanted to come. He was finally able to see his friend again. After so many years, after what had all happened, he was able to see his love again.

"I've missed you so much," he managed out between chuckles and holding back his tears of happiness. "Is it really you?"

The man pulled back from him and gave him one of his trademarked smiles, making his own grow wider. His softer and more mature blue eyes glittered just like they did those years ago. It truly was him, after so long he had come back and was here, smiling for him like he remembered in his dreams.

Swallowed up in emotion, he pulled the brunette into his arms and, like he used to do years ago, stole a kiss from his lips. Even his taste was the same as he held his friend closer to him, feeling the softness of his lips and the warmth that they had as well. Sora however, had frozen completely still, confusing him greatly.

A rough cough could be heard from behind the brunette and Riku pulled away unenthusiastically to look at the annoyed man that was still standing in the doorway, unseen until now. Moving away gently from the silver-haired man, Sora moved over to the taller male and wrapped his arms affectionately around the unknown man.

"This, Riku, is my husband Leon."

oO0Oo

"_This is my boyfriend Riku!" chimed Sora happily as he pulled Riku closer to him if that was possible. The older teen already was holding him close to his body as if in fear that someone would try to take him away if he let got for just a few seconds. In a way, he actually feared that but dismissed it for now as he looked to his boyfriend's new friends from college._

_It was the first year for Sora and he was so excited to show everyone his love and Riku swelled with pride on the inside. After his long year of studying and waiting, Sora was finally able to go to school with him and he felt proud that he could show his wide-eyed boyfriend around the campus and help him not get lost._

_The other freshmen looked up at the attractive teen and smiled, welcoming him into their group. A few of the girls seemed disappointed but they still pulled on a smile for their friend._

"_See, they like you already!" said the brunette, hugging his boyfriend as he blushed. Riku just smirked and slipped his hand into the side of his love's pants, feeling the baby soft skin on his rather cute hips. "Hey! Not in public!"_

"_Oh don't worry Sora, I don't think its anything that they wouldn't expect us to do anyway," purred Riku as he brushed his lips teasingly against the brunette's. Sora however blushed like a ripe tomato and moved his face away from his boyfriend and pouted as he felt him grope his side again._

"_It's embarrassing Riku! In front of my new friends! It's uncalled for and entirely unnessesary."_

_The silver-haired teen sighed and slipped his hand out from Sora's jeans and folded his arms. "Well, fine then, if that's what you want…" Then, without notice, Riku grabbed his arm and dragged him off towards the back of the building._

"_H-Hey! Where are you taking me?" stuttered out a shocked Sora as he was pulled behind a wall and then roughly pressed up against it. Riku pressed himself against the blushing teen, nuzzling his neck and sending kisses up towards his ear. The brunette moaned and clutched at his shoulders, giving into the kisses and returning with his own when he could reach Riku's lips._

"_I don't care about anyone else as long as you're with me. I don't need anyone else but you," he moaned as he buried Sora's lips in another flurry of bruising kisses, his hands roaming the other boy's back under his soft red cotton t-shirt. Sora moaned and sighed as he melted into his boyfriend's kisses, blushing alluringly back at him in a bashful manner._

"_Me too Riku."_

oO0Oo

_**And after all the obstacles**_

_**It's good to see you now with someone else**_

_**And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends**_

_**After all that we've been through**_

_**I know we're cool**_

They now sat in the large greeting room, Sora looking curiously around from his seat next to his stoic husband on the couch and Riku alone on his chair, watching his former lover with a pleasant smile. He remembered how surprised Sora would be whenever he came within an inch of his dorm room in college. All he would do was pull things down and look at them as if they were mini replicas of the Holy Grail.

Eyeing over Sora, he noticed that he really had changed a lot. His once carefree unruly hair was now toned down and was content to be short and tousled on his head in a somewhat organized fashion, making him look more mature. He wore a simple off-white sweater over a crisp light blue button-up shirt and a pair of black slacks that fit nicely on him. Riku was expecting something looser since Sora had the constant problem of never wearing clothes that fit him properly. They were always too large but it gave him a cute appeal whenever he would peek over the collar of a large turtleneck or hiding innocently behind the large sleeves of a loose shirt.

"Wow! This art is amazing Riku! You really have increased your skill a lot," exclaimed Sora, snapping the silver-haired man out of his daydream.

"Oh, yeah, I guess so," he sighed, trying to hide the tired look from his face. In the past years, he had really grown tired of hearing everyone fawning over his artwork to the point that he hated ever showing anyone his work. 'The only person that really enjoyed my artwork…'

Riku then buried his face into his hands as he sighed. 'Gods Riku! Stop sulking over Sora. He's married now and he's happy, which is better than what you could have done even if you _would have_ let him go.' At the thought of that, he leaned his head back into the back of the couch and blinked slowly. The past kept haunting him like a sad and sick dream that he knew that he would never have again.

"So have you been keeping up with your art lately?" asked Sora politely, trying to stir up a conversation.

"Yeah, I'm a professional now," he replied with a fake smile. In reality he hated his job. He hated everything about it but art collectors loved his deep and moody artworks and even had the gall to say that they understood the feelings. How could they when the artist _himself_ couldn't even understand his own pieces.

"Oh really? Have you had any big projects?"

Riku shrugged and walked over to his client portfolio. Pulling it out, he placed the large album looking book onto the coffee table, away from their drinks, and unzipped it, opening it up to show the colorful pages and snapshots of the different movie backgrounds, theatre stages, interior decorating pieces for celebrities, and even some costume designs and red carpet gown designs.

"Wow, these are great designs Riku! You should probably propose some of these to people."

"These are all actual projects that I've finished. I've received some awards for these. Was nominated for an Oscar for the movie Insomnia Butterfly, there's my invitation right next to that right there," said Riku coolly, eyes looking over his achievements unfazedly.

Sora looked up and gaped at him. "You mean these all are things you've _actually_ done! Like the bunch of performance outfits for Yuna and Lenne? The red carpet gown for Lucy Liu, Nicole Kidman, the ball gown for Rinoa Heartily, even the expensive wedding gown for _Princess Yuna of Yevon_!"

"Yeah, the picture of it on her is right there. It was a pain trying to find a something that would all match her eyes since her eyes were two different colors. And the wings took forever to become the right firmness to be able to not sag for the whole occasion but somehow they managed to work," he said with an irritated groan, remembering how it wasn't the _bride_ that hassled him about it but her _sister-in-law_ the Princess Rikku who annoyed him to no end. She was the second worst client he ever had to deal with.

"Look at this Leon! Riku is amazing!" said Sora in awe as he waved his husband over, never taking his eyes off of the pages he was flipping through.

At this, Leon looked over at Riku in such an icy glare that Riku wondered how Sora ended up with a man like him. It seemed that the aloof brunette spent his entire time watching him with his gunmetal eyes as if he was going to try and steal his husband away.

Silently, Leon sat closer to Sora, wrapping an arm protectively around his waist as he looked over his shoulder, studying the many pieces of Riku's 'life achievements.' Watching them, Riku couldn't help but to crack a small smile, seeing the more mature Sora being held so warmly by his husband reminded him so much of how he used to hold him himself, rubbing a hand up and down his side affectionately or nuzzling his soft honey brown hair like Leon was doing now.

A small dull pain brushed up against his heart as he thought of it again. But they weren't together anymore, he had to remember that. However, he covered up his slight expression of pain with a blank one. He had been so accustomed to cover his emotions, happiness or annoyance that he had become very good at it. After all, it was needed in the jobs that he had to perform.

"See Leon, he even painted the inside murals for that new opera house that they just opened! Isn't that amazing? We definitely need to see one of their concerts now," said the younger brunette proudly as he traced a finger over the gloss covered page.

"Whenever you want to we'll go," spoke Leon as he gave his husband an approving squeeze, making Sora's grin widen.

Riku looked up at the window and then at his watch. 'Eleven-thirty,' he thought as he then put his attention back to the couple.

"What have _you_ been doing lately Sora?" asked the artist, trying to pull the attention from his works.

"Oh, I'm the CFO for EOT World Inc. Nothing really big actually," said Sora bashfully, making Riku grin. For the entire time that he had known him, the brunette had always been so bashful when it came to any of his _own_ personal accomplishments. Like when he became the Salutatorian for the high school, when he earned a complete scholarship to their university, and even when he…

Riku's face suddenly took on a dark emotion and he looked at the coffee table blankly. He didn't want to remember it anymore. It was the whole reason that the both of them cut off their final ties.

"_Sora! I'm sorry! I didn't want you to leave me! Please don't…"_

"Riku?"

He snapped out of the memory to see two pairs of blue eyes watching him, one filled with concern and the other with caution, wanting to know what he would do next.

"Sorry about that. I was trying to remember if I picked up my dry cleaning, I get kind of late with it and the lady gets crazy about it. Steals my good shirts too," he said, trying to cover it up. Thankfully, the younger brunette nodded his head in understanding and visibly relaxed a little.

"Well, being CFO sounds like a pretty big thing. You manage the money and stuff like that right?"

"Yeah, it gets really annoying though because sometimes they say that we're spending too much for our Model A55 productions or not selling our software at a well enough price to get the profit that we want for next year's production to be profitable. And then people try to use the company funds to hold parties and buy new 'company cars.' And the stocks are not doing well enough also these last couple of months since the typhoon hit our major docking areas."

"Wow, well I guess that it's a pretty hard business," said Riku, trying to make sense of anything that he was saying. Business talk was always something that he never really wanted to get himself into so he always had his manager deal with it.

"Yeah I guess. But if you have a good lawyer behind your back, you can clear up a good amount of the lawsuits that come across your way. That's how I met Leon after all."

At this, the taller brunette cracked a small grin and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, rubbing his arm lovingly.

"Oh, I see."

"He hired me during his biggest case four years ago after he fired the idiot who had been defending him before. After a few cases, we started arranging for lunch every now and then and we have been together ever since," said Leon as he looked down at Sora with a kind smile, making the younger man give him a brief hug.

The silver-haired man smiled unemotionally. "Well that's great, I'm happy for you," he said as he took a drawn out drink from his black coffee. The hot bitterness soothed down his throat as he made his smile more convincing. 'But _I'm_ not happy,' he thought.

"Oh you should see the pictures, we even have a daughter, adopted one of course. We named her Cosette Lionheart, like the book remember?" beamed Sora as he shuffled through his wallet for a picture of the little girl. Finding it, he handed his wallet over towards Riku.

It was a simple picture, cute at that, of a tiny little girl no older than three-years-old wearing a frilly light pink dress, showing off her shiny black shoes. Her bright green eyes glittered in happiness as she held what he assumed to be her new black puppy, her fair blonde hair curling cutely around her face. At the picture, he smiled a little. The girl seemed to be so happy, so full of light, just like Sora was when he was a child.

His eyes saddened for a brief moment as he looked over the picture to the left of it. Leon was laying back on the couch with a lopsided Santa hat on, obviously looking as if he didn't want to wear it. Sora laid asleep in his arms wearing a festive red and white sweater with one hand placed over his husband's on his stomach and another on little Cosette's back as she slept peacefully with her head on his chest.

It was really a cute picture with a bit of the Christmas tree peeking out of the corner of view and left over wrappings all over the couch and everywhere, even the image of their little girl cuddling a stuffed animal with a bow close to her as she slept was very cute. However, it shot a sharp feeling of despair in his heart. Sora looked happy, really happy. He had a husband to love him and a daughter to make their family complete. It was something that Riku wished he could have given him, a true and unspoiled happiness.

"It seems like you're doing well," he said, handing the wallet over before he saw something else like wedding photos or them on their honeymoon. If he _had_ seen those, he knew it would be hard to hold back his emotions.

Sora gave him a worried look and took his wallet back gently. "Yeah, I guess. Are you okay Riku?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. Riku just pulled on a reassuring smile, waving a hand.

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine. It's just so good that you're happy, I was just thinking about it that's all," he replied, trying to sound like it all had more truth in it than it really did. Sure he was happy for him, but the fact that he was happy made him hate his life even more. It was just a great big reminder of what they had lost, actually, what he had screwed up and ruined.

oO0Oo

"_Are you okay Riku?" asked Sora as he stopped eating his ice cream._

'_Shit, now he knows I'm upset. Just play it off,' thought Riku as he flashed him a reassuring smile. It was their Spring Break and they decided to go to San Francisco for their trip. They had so many interesting art galleries and an awesome China Town and Japan Town that he really couldn't help himself. But, sitting on a bench in Fisherman's Wharf, watching the people go by, his mind had wandered back on the argument that they had had back at the hotel._

"**_Why aren't you happy for me Riku! I have been working so hard to get this opportunity and it's a chance that I may never get again in my lifetime!" yelled Sora as he clenched his fists at his sides, eyes glaring through tears. Riku just buried his head in his hands, trying to will the whole situation away. If he believed that this was all just a sick dream, it might all go away right? Right?_**

"_**But Sora, there are plenty of good internships here! I don't know why you think you have to go halfway across the world for something so stupid!"**_

_**His blue eyes looked at him in disbelief. "Is that what you think this all is? Do you think that my dreams and aspirations are stupid? Is this some kind of big joke to you?" he asked incredulously.**_

"**_You know what Sora, I wish this was. I wish this was all some kind of big fucking joke that I wasn't really getting. But it's not! If you do this, you'll have to leave me here! I won't be able to see you again!" yelled Riku, trying to hold himself back from crying or screaming. The thought of it wrenched his heart so much that it hurt. Did he not care about him enough to just leave?_**

"_**We will be able to see each other Riku, but it will just take time. This is going to be good for the both of us, I'll work hard and maybe if they like me enough, they might give me a job and we can move there together, that's what you want right?" reasoned the brunette as he sat down next to Riku on the bed placing a hand on his shoulder.**_

_**But Riku just sat there in shock and disbelief. The man he loved more than anything else had just decided on his own to take up a year-long internship in Germany, one that would most likely tear them apart forever. How could he do such a thing and be surprised that he didn't like it?**_

"**_You know what? Let's go get some ice cream, I know that'll help your mind a little," proposed the brunette as he placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, trying to soothe him in any way._**

_Thinking about that, he closed his eyes, ignoring the small bowl of mint ice cream that was now threatening to pool over the edges. No matter what, he knew that Sora was going to take up that internship and leave him forever, he just knew it. The idea of living his life without Sora hurt him to no end._

"_I don't want you to go," he said in a low voice as he looked at Sora with pleading eyes._

"_I know Riku but this is a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Think about it, it'll only be one year and we could then have the rest of our lives to be happy. You would be able to paint and not have to worry about having to pay the bills. I'll take care of it Riku and you can keep painting what you want! Won't that be great?" he proposed, his eyes looking back to him full of hope. Riku however shook his head and focused his eyes to the ground._

"_You don't understand me Sora, not at all," he muttered, a few tears sliding out of his emotionless eyes and hitting the pavement._

oO0Oo

"You know what, sometimes I think he doesn't understand me Riku, not at all," Sora joked as he ate on the small bowl of green tea ice cream with Leon casually. Riku looked up from gazing into his mint ice cream and pulled on a convincing smile.

"Well what do you mean by that Sora?" he asked, stirring his spoon unconsciously in the melting treat.

"Oh, well, Leon's favorite ice cream is green tea and he knows that I can barely stand the stuff. What's worse is that he got _his_ favorite instead of mine."

"Chocolate, right?"

Sora stopped and looked at the silver-haired man for a second. His husband glared at him, much to Riku's annoyance.

"Yeah, that's right," said the younger brunette, coming out of the confusion he was just then in. "But how did you remember that from how many years?"

"Nine I guess," said Riku with a dragged out sigh as he stirred his spoon around yet again, making patterns with the melting mint chips. "Sometimes if you remember something for so long, it kind of sticks with you no matter what."

The couple watched him curiously, making Riku throw on another smile and laugh uncharacteristically. Normally, he would have been okay with letting Sora see how upset he was but with Leon there and how happy Sora seemed to be with him, it was almost embarrassing. In reality, he realized that _he_ had been the only one who hadn't moved on after all that had happened. The whole fact was humiliating.

"You know," he started, trying to cover it up. "I _still_ remember exactly how many pens the English professor had each day. Remember that?"

Sora unfortunately shook his head, making Riku look at him in disbelief.

"Don't you remember? Fifty-six?"

The younger brunette continued to shake his head, looking a bit clueless about it. Riku just sighed and slumped back into his chair. How could he have forgotten? After all, it was _his_ idea to steal one of them to see how he would react. The poor man panicked and checked his drawers over a million times before Sora gave up and said that he had let him borrow one at the beginning of class the day before.

"Sorry. That was a long time ago so it's understandable that I wouldn't remember such a thing," said Sora reassuringly as he began eating more of the ice cream again.

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right huh?" said Riku as his fake smile cracked a bit more. This wasn't working for him. The whole day had been like hell. Watching Sora bicker with Leon about consideration when it came to sharing food, Riku realized that he really didn't want to be there. He didn't want to have to go through the now more concrete reminder that he had lost Sora forever to his rashness and selfishness.

Looking back down to the now pool of greenish-brown swirled sludge, he tried tasting a bit of what was left of his favorite ice cream.

'Like he'd still remember that anyway,' he thought as he twisted a face at its taste. 'I'll just go home. Yeah, that's it. I'll just say that I'm kind of behind on another commission so I need to work on it. I use that excuse all of the time.' Standing up, he casually dealt out his excuse, having to face the look of utter concern from Sora.

"Oh, I see. I guess we can't get in the way of your work," he sighed, looking down at the table sadly.

"Don't get like that Sora. After all you can call me after you get off of the plane tomorrow right?" The younger brunette just nodded, not attempting at all to cover his look of disappointment.

oO0Oo

"_Don't get like this Riku. This is supposed to be our special night together," said Sora as he squeezed his arms around his lover's waist from behind. Tracing his fingers teasingly around the button of his jeans, he pressed his shorter body flush against his back. Riku just sighed unemotionally and gently pushed him away._

"_I'm not in the mood anymore. It was a stupid idea anyway." The brunette frowned at this._

"_What do you mean 'stupid'? We go out of our way to go to a nice resort and everything and now you're backing out of the **one** thing I thought you were anticipating?"_

_Riku just shook his head as he sat down on the sofa, turning on the television. He didn't really care if Sora had spent so much time booking a room at the resort or preparing for whatever he thought Riku might want. This was all to be one last celebration between them before his love went away for the year to Germany and probably forever. For the past few weeks they had done nothing but fight like cats and dogs. There was barely a time when they **didn't** want to leap at each other's throats._

"_I just want to be alone okay? Is that so much to ask?" groaned Riku, starting to lose his patience._

"_But it's our last night here Riku! I've planned this night to be special, our special moment until I leave for Germany and you're just being selfish!"_

"_Oh, **I'm** being selfish? After you decided that this was going to make up for you leaving me?"_

"_How many times do I have to say this? I'm doing this for the both of us! I'm doing this for you! Why the hell aren't you getting it?" yelled Sora, trying his hardest not to cry. But Riku didn't care, he wanted him to cry. Even if he cried his heart out, it wouldn't compare to the feeling he was living with for the past month. How could he truthfully believe that he was doing something for the both of them when it was hurting him more than anything he'd ever been through?_

"_Just go away, I don't want to be around you right now," stated Riku, making Sora stand frozen in shock. A few tears streamed in a rush down his face as he looked at him in hopeful disbelief. But Riku continued to ignore him as he continued to turn channels, trying to drown him out. He knew he was being unreasonable but he didn't care, he cared about nothing anymore anyway. If his love was going to leave him, he might as well have just gone and never came back. Why should he want him back anyway if he felt so at ease to leave him without a second opinion?_

"_I hate you Riku," he whispered out despairingly, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand as he padded away to the bedroom, closing the door with a light click._

oO0Oo

_**We used to think it was impossible**_

_**Now you call me by my new last name**_

_**Memories seem like so long ago**_

_**Time always kills the pain**_

Riku woke up crying. Sora had left with Leon for a few months now and it seemed like every other night he was plagued with that same dream. It had been years since he'd had it, the memory of their last moments together before Sora had left him for good. Even though he thought he'd gotten over it, he yet again was sitting up in the middle of the night, trying to wipe away the tears that seemed like they would never stop.

Every time, he'd have to watch himself hurt Sora, and every time, he had to listen to his lover's sorrowful tears as he cried by himself in their room. It all was supposed to be a happy moment, a week of doing nothing but sharing in the love that they had for each other and enjoying their last moments together before Sora had to leave.

Over the years he had thought of many different things that could have happened, like how they could have spent the night looking at the stars, or watching TV, or spending their whole trip making love like Sora had already planned on doing. They could have done anything else and Riku wouldn't have broken his heart even more.

After he had finally stopped his tears, he looked blankly at the wall ahead of him. More than ever, he hated his life. There was no real happiness in it, only art deals and working and collapsing at the end of the day into an empty bed in an empty house.

"So this is what it's like to be truly lonely huh?" he asked with a chuckle as he felt more tears starting to flow again. These tears were bitter, angry, full of frustration. He had had so many years to try and pick up the pieces of their failed relationship, after college ended, after he started getting good commissions, even after he bought his condo six years ago with every intention of trying to find Sora and asking him to give him another chance. It was supposed to be their home together, a place that he'd cook dinner for his lover when he came back from the office so that they could share it together and a place where he'd constantly be lectured on not leaving his art supplies all over the coffee table.

He laughed at that, closing his eyes as he laid his head back down. It was supposed to be the start of a happy new life together, the first place that he could actually call home without having an irritated mother smoking in the kitchen cursing over a burned pot of rice or a brother that was too busy with his many lovers in Riku's _own room_ to welcome him home.

In actuality, Riku always envied Sora. Though they were always left out in the high social events of the island, they worked hard for what they had and didn't waste it all on needless things like luxury cars or first-class chefs. Sora's mother would always cook the most delicious meals that Riku had ever tasted and would even spend weeks at the brunette's house for dinner. Even though Sora's father worked all of the time so that they could keep their house, he always came back home at night with a tired smile and a hug for his son and a kiss for his wife. Even Riku enjoyed the welcoming hugs he would get from him.

Sora's family was full of warmth and love, making it a lot easier to understand how the brunette could be the way he was. There were even times when Riku had wanted to run away and live with them instead of his aloof family life. When he was at their house, he felt accepted, like part of the family, instead of avoided and dealt with only when necessary.

Putting on his jeans, Riku got out of bed and walked his way to his studio. It was at times like this when he woke up in the middle of the night that he would go and paint his sorrows away.

After making himself a cup of coffee, he pulled the sheet away from his current work. It was of an angel, his long brown hair flowing around his face in waves as his golden spear was aimed high, his soft blue eyes watching its target. He conceived this piece when he had read through one of his old sketchbooks, looking at the endless images of angels that he had sketched out.

As he started to paint in some of the flowers in the angels hair, the phone began to ring. "Whatever. Whoever the hell is calling me at three in the morning can listen to a damn answering machine," muttered Riku as he focused more on his work.

_Hello, you have reached my number but I'm not available right now so feel free to leave a message._

The answering machine beeped and then the sudden sound of a busy crowd. 'Who the hell is calling at this hour?' he thought, painting in another few petals of a small daisy.

Someone was crying.

"Hello?" whimpered out the despairing voice of someone, a man, as he could tell. He paused from his painting and walked over to the machine with his coffee, waiting to hear more.

There was a short amount of crying and then the person continued. "I can't do this anymore. I need you. I… I miss you Riku. I miss you so much," cried the man as Riku felt his heart stop.

'Oh God, its Sora.'

He then continued, trying to hold back his crying. A long pause of painful sobbing continued until he finally pulled himself together. "I'm sorry for bugging you. And I know you're probably at home with your girlfriend or your boyfriend but I… I," he said, his voice becoming more waterlogged. "I have nowhere else to go."

"Hello? Sora?" asked Riku concernedly as he picked up the phone. At the sound of his voice, the brunette started crying again, this time more uncontrollably. "What happened Sora? And where's Leon? Are you okay?" he asked in a rush of questions, making him cry harder. The whole thing was making Riku panic. Leon should have been there with him and if he was then he should be crying as hysterically as he was then.

The sound of a plane flying overhead rang through the phone. "He's gone! He's gone Riku!"

"Wait-wait-wait. Who's gone?"

"Leon. We had an argument and he left us! He left me! And I have no where else to go. Please Riku," he sobbed, trying to calm himself down. But the sound of hearing Sora cry hurt Riku even more. Even more than that, he was confused. What was going on? Why would Leon leave him and their daughter when just a few months ago, they had seemed to be drowning in their own happiness.

"Calm down Sora. You have to help me here, okay?" he asked in a reassuring voice, trying to soothe Sora down to an intelligible state.

"Okay."

"Now where are you?"

There was a slight pause, an almost uncomfortable one.

"I'm at the airport, Traverse Field," he said lowly, trying to hide his embarrassment. Riku just sighed and scratched his head. How could he have been so rash as to fly all the way over from Kilika to Traverse Town, halfway across the country? Grabbing a jacket, he shrugged it on and picked up his wallet, cell phone, and keys.

"Don't worry Sora, I'll be there in ten minutes," he said as he then hung up the phone and walked out of the door.

oO0Oo

"_Hello? Sora?" asked Riku as he picked up his cell phone to the voice of his frantic boyfriend. Today was the day that he was supposed to get off of the plane from Japan to Germany for his internship. That morning the day before, when the brunette had called him to tell him goodbye, it wrenched at his heart. However, it wasn't for the simple fact that he was leaving but rather something that he did._

"_Riku, I'm here at the firm and I was trying to check in and they said that I've been cancelled!" said the brunette in a panic. At that, Riku winced._

"_Oh, well what do you mean by cancelled?" he asked, trying to sound disappointed. He could hear Sora's heavy breathing as he assumed he was power walking back to his hotel. Whenever he was nervous, Sora had the tendency to speed walk._

"_Well, they're saying that I haven't turned in my confirmation forms but I never got any. I seriously don't know what they're talking about!" he yelled, starting to get annoyed._

"_I guess it couldn't be helped right? I mean, it's the planning offices fault probably."_

"_Well yeah but aren't you at all upset about this? I just flew halfway across the globe for nothing!"_

_There was an awkward pause and Riku couldn't figure out what to say. In actuality, he was glad, ecstatic even that Sora wouldn't be able to stay there for a year as he had hoped. But the only thing was that it was a bittersweet happiness. He knew it was wrong, what he did was wrong, but he couldn't tell him. If he did, he knew that Sora would never forgive him._

"_Riku? Are you **happy** that I was dropped out?" he asked slowly, his voice laced in accusation._

"_Oh no, I mean, well, I'm glad that I'll be able to see you soon. And besides, its not like there aren't going to be any good internships here right? You're smart and good at basically anything you do so you'll be just fine you know?"_

_Again, the long pause. He could hear the sound of cars honking and a blur of German words being spoken in the background. Everything was tense between them, an atmosphere that was so thick that it was suffocating. And Riku knew that at times like this, when Sora was unnervingly quiet, he was thinking. In actuality, he was figuring things out._

"_Riku, what did you do?"_

oO0Oo

"Sora, what happened?" asked Riku as he drove back to his condo with a miserable and depressed Sora huddled into the passenger seat. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and his coat, along with the rest of his clothes, was damp from the rain. His dreary brown head of hair was matted to his scalp, looking ruined in comparison to its once relative sense of order. Riku's bright aqua eyes flashed quickly over to the brunette, urging him to talk.

"Tell me," he then ordered, making a left turn. The windshield wipers were swinging furiously, trying to clear the view from the windshield but were working in vain. Thunder clapped as a flash of lightning engulfed the car for a few seconds before it gave way to the dark of night again.

"Well, things aren't going as well between us as I thought they were. Leon has a big new case and the firm he works with wants him to be a partner."

"That's good right? He can get more money that way. You should be happy," said Riku, trying to be encouraging. He was simply irritated about the fact that he had to drive in the middle of a thunderstorm on the freeway in the middle of the night to pick him up from the airport. But no matter what the circumstance, he knew that he would have walked barefoot in a blizzard if Sora had asked him to.

The brunette simply frowned and sniffed back a few tears. "But the firm wants him to work in their main office and that's all the way in New York."

"I still don't see what the big deal is. You can just move," sighed Riku as he came to a light, leaning back into the black leather seats which most likely needed to be replaced now.

"We can't move."

"And why not?"

"Because if we move I'll lose my job. I have to stay in Kilika Riku, there's no other way around it," cried Sora as he slumped into the chair, drowning into another set of tears. Riku just looked at him before focusing back on the light. That really was a dilemma. Even though he knew very little about law and business, he knew very well that being promoted to a partner in a law firm as big as the one Leon was from was a very big thing. And also, he knew that if big corporations wanted to relocate you, you had to do it.

"But I don't understand why this is so hard for you guys. I mean, I know that it's a big opportunity and he probably won't have another chance for this in a long time but that doesn't seem to be the reason why he'd walk out on you," sighed Riku as he continued to drive. The younger man just looked out of the side of the window. He was brooding again, he knew it.

"It's complicated," he said, trying to drop the subject. But Riku was concerned about him.

"Try me. We're already in this damn car anyway so I won't let you out unless we talk."

Sora then sighed and bit his lip, visibly tensing up. They both hated this awkwardness, the inability to truly confide into each other in the way that they used to a decade ago. Before, whenever something troubled them, whether it was grades, family, or their relationship, they would always tell each other how they felt, never once trying to hide their emotions. In those times they were a pair of open books that now were regretfully closed.

"Sora, you need to tell me," he coaxed, trying to gently pry the brunette open.

"He left me because I said…" he paused and swallowed, as if trying to digest the situation. With an uneasy glance at him, he bit his lip again and continued. "I told him that I still loved you."

A loud honking could be heard as the car almost slammed into another one as he accidentally ran a red light. "Riku watch the road!" yelled Sora, making Riku snap back into focus, slowing the car down to a stop at the side of the street. All color drained from his face as he laid his head on his arms against the steering wheel, taking a series of shuddering breaths.

"Riku are you okay?" asked Sora, placing a hand on his shoulder. The older man just buried his head into his arms and looked up before undoing his seatbelt and getting out of the car, not caring about leaving the keys inside.

Looking around, there was a large football field next to them, one that belonged to a local high school. Following the gate, he found and opening and made his way inside and towards the field, not caring about getting soaked from the rain. If his seats weren't ruined already, they were definitely going to be trashed when he would get back.

Sitting on one of the bleachers, he closed his eyes and ran his hands over his face, gripping at the front of his hair while trying to make sense of it all. Sora still loved him? Even though he had never made any attempt to contact him for nine years, even though he married Leon, even though he was starting a family with his new husband? Even after how he betrayed Sora those years ago, he still loved him?

His body began to shake from being in the cold and also from crying in frustration. This was his entire fault. It had to be. Before he reunited with Riku, he had the perfect life. He had a great job, a stable home with a husband and a daughter. He had everything that Riku wished for. But since that time, when he yet again stepped into his life, he caused chaos. Yet again, he was ruining his chances for happiness, for self-fulfillment.

The rain was comforting for Riku as he continued to cry, feeling the whole world weep with him. He was a living plague to Sora, but somehow, he still loved him? After everything? Even more than ever he just wanted to disappear, just to fade away from everything, from work, from Traverse Town, from fame, from the world, and mostly from Sora.

The rain began to pour harder and he knew that he needed to get Sora back into his condo before he gets sick to top it all off. Running his fingers through his wet hair, he sighed, trying to calm himself down before he went back to the car. He had to keep it together. He had to be strong for Sora.

"I'm sorry," whispered Sora as Riku got back into the car, ignoring the fact that he was dripping all over the seats. The older man just turned on the car and proceeded driving in silence, not daring to look at the brunette in the seat next to him. He had to be strong. He had to be strong.

They entered the condo in silence, the flashes of lightning illuminating the otherwise dark greeting room. He tried to turn on the lights but even with a few quick flicks of the switch, it didn't seem to work. At this he cursed under his breath. It was yet another thing that probably had to be looked at in the morning. Even the emergency power was off and that wasn't a good thing.

Looking over his shoulder, he saw Sora standing miserably at the entrance, lightly dripping onto the hardwood floors, his eyes focused down onto his soggy feet. He was shivering and this made Riku sigh in frustration.

"Come with me, we need to get you warmed up," he said stoically as he walked off towards the bathroom, motioning for the brunette to follow in suit. They were silent as Riku pulled down a few downy white towels from the closet, ignoring the fact that water was still dripping down his face and over his clammy skin.

"You know, right now, you really look like your brother," said Sora with a wavering smile, trying to lighten up the mood. But this made the atmosphere even more uncomfortable. Riku really hated his brother, the one who really cared about nothing but whatever he came up with in his head. He was just like his mother, just like his father. Sephiroth was everything that Riku didn't want to be in life whether it was his actions or even the uncanny family resemblance.

His whole family made him sick. His father Seymour abandoned his mother for another woman not even two years after he was born even though he forced her to have him. Paine, his mother, the one that used to have such compassion and warmth for him became hardened with time and was more of an empty shell, a lost soul with good looks for sexy action films. And Sephiroth, well, he always walked over his little brother and never showed an inch of affection to him and even told Riku at times to just run away and save them the burden of having to feed him.

They had taught him that emotions are better left forgotten, that kindness is a sign of weakness that must be used for an advantage. And glancing at himself in the mirror as he pulled out his soaps, he realized that he was becoming just like them. He, the little boy who once would laugh and play on the beach with his friends, a child wanting to be the best at everything so his family could actually appreciate him, that youthfulness had eroded away and changed him into a downcast and regretful adult, full of shattered hopes and a genuine apathy for life.

"Yeah, I'm just like them," he muttered as he tossed Sora a robe. "Just put your clothes anywhere and I'll have them washed in the morning."

Silently making his way past the confused Sora, he slowly made his way into his room. As he slowly peeled off his jacket and then his jeans, he looked himself over in the mirror again. It held the same look of utter despair that his mother had those few years ago. Thinking of this, he gave a small chuckle. She finally did it. It was about time that she did.

For all of his life time, she had frozen herself to everything around her, not feeling anything when she found he and Sora in bed together when she came home early from work, or when she started to decline as a sex icon. Even when she heard of Seymour's tenth anniversary gala for his wife who was happily expecting yet _another_ child she kept a cool and aloof expression, pretending not to care one bit. She even attended it which made Riku sick even more.

Using his private shower, he quickly washed himself off and pulled on his boxers and a loose pair of drawstring pants and began toweling off his long ghostlike hair. Even though he hated his life more than anything imaginable, he wasn't going to be like her. He wasn't weak, not yet. If it was one thing that he learned, it was that he could rely on no one but himself in the end. Through his family's mistreatment of him, he had gained inner strength and self reliance. It was the one thing that kept him going.

"Um, Riku?" asked Sora, peeking into the dark room. The single lit candle illuminated the bedroom, causing a dark and hazy glow. Riku looked up at him and then started to rummage through his dresser broodingly.

"You'll be sleeping in here so make yourself comfortable. And put these on," he said over his shoulder as he tossed an old set of pajamas and boxers onto the bed before closing the drawers.

"Oh. So where are you going to sleep?" asked he brunette, still hovering at the doorway in the deep blue bathrobe, his still damp hair framing his face. Riku just shrugged at this and prepared to walk out of the door.

"I don't know, around I guess."

Grabbing onto his arm, Sora focused his eyes on Riku's chest, trying to figure out what to say. "Um… is there a way that, well, you could… stay here? With me?"

Riku just concentrated on his current mantra. He had to be strong. He had to be strong.

"I can't."

"Please Riku? Just for tonight?" he pleaded quietly, blue eyes looking up to him with helplessness. He tried to resist, he tried his hardest. However, whenever Sora genuinely needed something of him, he normally folded against his will, even if it was something that he was entirely opposed to like at that very moment.

Relaxing his shoulders, he silently nodded. "You might as well get dressed, it's late and you need your sleep."

As he again tried to leave, Sora blocked his path, this time a lot more gently. "You don't have to leave; I don't mind you staying in here."

"Whatever," muttered Riku as he walked over to his bed and got in, curling over to his side to give Sora at least a shred of privacy. He knew, however, that if he did watch him, he wouldn't be able to control himself. Even the fact that he had to share his bed with him was something that he knew would be hard. With all of the pent up emotions between the two of them now up in the air, he already realized that this wasn't a good idea and that no matter what, they would end up doing something that he would later regret.

Feeling the bed dip to the side of him, he heard the brunette settle himself on the other side of him, looking up at the ceiling. A wave of tension followed for a few minutes after that and neither dared to speak. Even though he knew that both of them were filled to the brim with unanswered questions and unsaid words, he understood that saying anything wouldn't be a good idea, especially since they were alone together in bed with a power outage from a raging thunderstorm that was still banging against the windows.

Another awkward shift of the sheets. Though it was tense, feeling the presence of Sora next to him eased his soul just a little. It was true that he had his share of lovers in his bed but none of them even combined could surpass the feeling of completion with the person he loved laying next to him, even if it _was_ at a considerable distance away.

"Good night Riku," said Sora timidly from behind him. Riku just sighed out his reply and closed his eyes, trying to go to sleep. But it wasn't working. Even with his feeling of ease, his body was still filled with jitters at the thought of Sora being just a few inches away from him, in his own bed.

'Maybe I could just sneak a look, just to see if he's asleep,' he thought as he laid in the silence. Deciding to do so, he gently rolled over to face a pair of piercing blue eyes watching him. Seeing that almost made him jump out of his skin.

"I can't sleep," whispered Sora, keeping his intense gaze at him. Riku just pulled his pillow to a more comfortable position.

"Just close your eyes and try," he sighed, trying to get his own sleep as well. He silently prayed for at least one of them to fall asleep. They needed to or this was not going to work.

Closing his eyes, Riku found it rather easy after that to get his rest, thanking God that he might actually get an uneventful night after all. He had work to do in the morning and painting a good work was a lot harder when he was half asleep.

As he felt himself fall deeper and deeper into slumber, a warm sensation seemed to be covering his entire body, soothing him even more. He didn't really care to try to figure it out; after all, it was helping him sleep. However, there was one feeling that was not welcomed.

"I'm sorry," whispered Sora quickly as he shrunk back into his side of the bed, looking down at the sheets. Riku just looked at him dazedly. Had he just kissed him right now? Sora had kissed _him_?

Reaching out, he gently guided the brunette's face up to him, giving him a testing kiss, trying to figure out if it was true or just some kind of drowsy hallucination. But at the timid response of Sora's lips returning the gesture, he realized it was in fact real.

He pulled away slowly and looked into his eyes, wondering if in fact he was just dreaming this entire thing and that he would wake up with Sora being as nervous around him as before. With another feather soft kiss, he understood that it really _was_ real. It felt like heaven as they slowly exchanged each sensual kiss, allowing the younger man to roll them over so that he could lay over him.

"Mmmmm, Riku…" he heard him sigh contently as he ran his fingers up the back of the sleeping shirt he was wearing, enjoying the feel of the warm and soft skin as he placed a few kisses along his neck. Sora just moaned lightly, tangling his fingers through Riku's silver hair slowly, leaning into his touches.

Riku squeezed his eyes shut as he paused, trying to calm himself down. What was he thinking? Sora was a married man. He couldn't be doing this with him no matter what the situation.

Sora sensed the slight hesitation in Riku and placed his hands on either side of the older man's face, leaning down to give a gentle and encouraging kiss. Though he knew what he had to do, this small gesture then clouded his mind, making him throw all caution to the wind.

Reaching up, he started a new series of kisses, each one becoming more heated than the last. Sora moaned happily into them as he guided Riku's arms back to his waist before roaming his hands over his chest exploring each muscle and inch of flesh there. There was a throaty groan that stirred in him as he felt Sora's hips brush teasingly against his while his kisses traveled to his ear.

The room seemed to feel hotter as he fumbled his fingers with the buttons on the shirt Sora was wearing, closing his eyes in the pleasure of it all. Sensing Riku's struggle, the brunette sat up, straddling the man under him as he seductively pulled the shirt over his head, watching him with lidded eyes. As he did this, Riku drifted his hands to rest on his hips, pulling the brunette down onto his own.

A loud moan escaped from Sora as he arched back, placing his hands on Riku's chest as he slowly grinded against him. Leaning over, he buried the older man's lips in open mouthed kisses, feeling their tongues move over each other. Riku had come to the conclusion that this truly was what heaven was like. He was with Sora, sharing in long belated passion that was even better than he could have dreamt it to be.

Rolling them over, he gave the brunette more bruising open mouthed kisses as he traced his hands along the smooth curves of Sora's sides. Even after all of the years, he still retained the slightly feminine curves of his hips that Riku loved so much. Teasingly, he placed his thumbs on the inside of each jutting hip bone, pressing his hips against his. Receiving a shuddering moan at the feel of their arousals brushing against each other, Sora placed his hands on his chest, pushing Riku away gently.

Without a single word, he maneuvered them back to their original position as he yet again straddled his hips. Tracing hot kisses from Riku's lips to his shoulders, the brunette slowly made his way down, letting his exploring hands lead the way. The elder man moaned as he felt rather experienced fingers tracing along his waistband.

Slowly, Sora pulled down the fabric that kept him from what he wanted. Closing his eyes, Riku gave a deep moan as he felt the brunette's hand gradually work over his member, causing intense sparks of pleasure to run over his body. He could definitely feel the years of experience that Sora had as he hunched under the covers, squeezing unbelievable amounts of pleasure from him with his skilled hands.

'I shouldn't be doing this. I _really_ shouldn't be doing this,' Riku continued to think as his hips rocked spasmodically against the brunette's practiced maneuvers.

Riku gave a frustrated groan as his movements came to a momentary halt. What was he doing? He was almost there. Shifting himself, the brunette then lowered his hot lips over his member, causing Riku to arch up, a long groan coming from the depths of his throat. Tangling his fingers into his unruly brown hair, he leaned back into the pillows, eyes fixed to the ceiling as his body marveled in the pleasure it was receiving.

For a moment, he didn't care that Sora was under the covers, sucking him off when they both knew that he was married with a stable home and a loving child to take care of. And for that second, he didn't care that it was the wrong thing to do and this small affair could possibly ruin what relationship the brunette could have fixed with his husband. However, the guilt soon began to rise up into him after his body released into his ex-lover's lips, making him feel ashamed for actually enjoying the sin that they were sharing in.

Sora rose back from under the covers, nuzzling his shoulder and placing kisses on his neck. 'I can't believe I did this,' thought Riku as he shut his eyes, trying to come to terms of what just happened. Ignoring his own advice, ignoring what was right, he allowed this to happen. And what made it worse was that if he hadn't felt that lucky pang of guilt then, he possibly could have continued the horrible act and had _fully_ taken what he knew wasn't his to take.

"Shit."

"Riku, what's wrong," asked Sora with a soothing voice laced in concern. Riku just looked up at the ceiling, too ashamed to look Sora in the eyes. He had wronged him again, this time, doing something more damaging than costing him an internship.

"We fucked up," he replied. The brunette moved himself up more so that he could look down at Riku's face, his deep blue eyes piercing into him.

"What do you mean Riku? I don't understand."

"Of course you understand Sora! You're married. You have a husband and a daughter at home waiting for you and I do _this_ to you. It's like spitting Leon in the face."

Sora furrowed his eyebrows as he listened to Riku's guilty rant. "But it's my fault Riku. I'm the one who initiated it. I _knew_ what I was doing. There is no reason to blame yourself for what I wanted."

"Shit," cursed Riku as he got out of the bed, trying to find his pants in the dark.

"Riku! What are you doing?" demanded the brunette in a harsh whisper.

"I need some air. Just stay here and go to bed or something," muttered Riku as he gave up and pulled out a pair of boxers from his drawers blindly. Putting them on, he opened the door which was now filled with light.

"Great, _now_ the damn power comes on," he grumbled as he grabbed his robe from the hook behind the door.

"So now you're going to run away from me again? Is that it Riku?" spat Sora, getting out of bed as well. Riku just shrugged his robe on, tying it lightly. "You're such a coward."

"I'm not a coward Sora, _you _are."

He could see the brunette raise an eyebrow at this, probably wondering what he was talking about. "How the hell am _I_ the coward when _you_ are the one trying to run away?"

Riku just sighed and tried to ignore what he was saying. He didn't need an argument right then, things were already screwed up in his head as it was anyway without this to top it off.

"Just forget it Sora and go to bed."

"No Riku! I would _really_ like to know. How dare you call _me_ a coward? You're the one who hid my _mail_ from me! _You're_ the one who canceled my _internship_!"

Riku closed his eyes in frustration. For years he was trying to forget what he had done. It was the biggest mistake of his life.

Turning around, he looked back at Sora with downcast and apologetic eyes. "Yes, I really was a coward then. And I know that there could have been a better way." His eyes then took on a firmer look. "However, whatever feelings you have for me must stop here. I don't want to ruin your life again, especially Leon's and your daughter's as well."

With that, he walked out of the room and closed the door.

oO0Oo

_Riku laid in his bed, cradling the phone up to his chest as he cried bitter tears. Sora had come that evening to pick up the rest of his things from their apartment and was transferring to another school, one halfway across the country. He had pleaded for him not to leave, to stay just a bit longer but the silent brunette refused to look at him, let alone say anything as he mechanically packed the rest of his things away._

_Many of the gifts that he had given him were left in their once precious spots. The picture of them at their first real date on the cruise laid untouched. Each dried rose from every Valentine's Day that they celebrated still sat in its dusty box on the window sill, long forgotten. Even the engagement ring that Riku had spent months of late night shifts to get him, the one that Sora said he would treasure forever, the one that claimed the brunette as his laid naked on the empty dresser, its sparkle now dull with dust._

_He remember clinging onto Sora as he was about to walk out of the door and out of his life forever. "Sora! I'm sorry! I didn't want you to leave me! Please don't go!" he pleaded as he hugged onto his lover from behind, his tears sinking into his gray t-shirt. Sora just paused there, still and frozen like an empty doll._

_The minutes that he had clutched onto him not wanting to let go seemed like an eternity as he cried harder than he ever had. His happiness, the one thing that brightened up his miserable life, was leaving him. It was his entire fault. He had hid the mail from him and made anonymous incompetence complaints so that he wouldn't have to leave him, so that he **couldn't** go on that year-long internship._

_Riku collapsed to his knees, wallowing in a pit of sadness and utter despair as he futily tried to clear the tears from his eyes. Right then, he looked like a child, the poor helpless child that he really was deep inside. Sora looked down at him, his clear blue eyes shallow and devoid of life._

"_You're such a coward," he said before he walked out, closing the door with a click._

_After that day, Riku tried calling him many times, on his cell phone, his home phone. He even tried many desperate times to e-mail him and sent hundreds of letters to his house, trying to apologize for what he did. He hoped for some kind of forgiveness but he knew that he would never get it. Riku had betrayed him in the most vile and selfish way possible._

"_Don't ever call me again," was the last thing he heard from him as Sora hung up the phone. He just sat there in shock as he heard the dial tone come back on, resounding like an enormous echo throughout his soul. Everything was gone now; his once warm apartment was now empty and cold._

_Crying a few more tears, he contemplated on what he could possibly do next. His life held no meaning anymore; he had focused his hopes and dreams on making Sora happy, on marrying him and starting a brand new life together as they lived like normal people. Even if they had to live from paycheck to paycheck, he knew that no matter what, he would have been happy. And if he was happy, he definitely would have done everything in his power to make Sora happy as well._

"_Sora," he whimpered as he cried, wishing that the brunette could walk right through the door and comfort him with his tenderness and love as he always did. But he knew that he would never come back, that it was impossible for forgiveness now, at least while the wound was still fresh. And he knew that he would regret it for the rest of his life._

oO0Oo

_**Remember Harbor Boulevard**_

_**The dreaming days where the mess was made**_

_**Look how all the kids have grown**_

_**We have changed but we're still the same**_

_**After all that we've been through**_

_**I know we're cool **_

"You know Riku, you _are_ such a coward," thought the silver-haired man as he looked over his studio. In almost every singe artwork he had strategically placed something that reminded him of Sora. Closing his eyes, he sighed and tossed his current artwork to the floor, the kind face of the angel looking up statuesquely to the ceiling.

He realized even harder now that he needed to let him go, he needed to get over him. With his lingering feelings, he was hurting the man he loved even more, causing him more grief and misery than he even could comprehend. His love for him was holding him back from true happiness, caging him.

"Riku?"

Riku sighed. Sora quietly walked into the room, looking all around at the many masterpieces that hung on the walls and laid against the tables.

"This is your studio?" he asked, looking around curiously. Riku just gave a solemn nod as he watched the brunette circle the room slowly, eyeing over each piece.

It was a room full of angels, all beautiful and all bearing something similar that the brunette couldn't quite place.

"This one looks like me," commented Sora as he pointed to one of the angels, its long and unruly brown hair framing his face as it smiled, bright blue eyes shining as it held a nest of chirping blue birds, delicate flowers arranged in his hair.

Looking around, the brunette started to scan his eyes over all of them. "They all look like me," he said, pausing as he looked back at the artist.

Riku looked to the side, trying to avoid his questioning gaze.

"They're really nice you know, other than the fact that they look like me of course," joked Sora, calming Riku into a small chuckle. "Is Riku laughing? He can't laugh, he's supposed to be angry and moody. How else will he make money?"

At this, the silver-haired man laughed out loud, grabbing the brunette in a giant hug, messing his hair.

"Ow Riku! I was just joking!" he called out as he tried to struggle in the man's strong grip while trying not to laugh. However, they simply fell into a fit of laughter, hugging each other like the friends they were before.

The joke that Sora said wasn't even that funny, it was actually pretty pathetic. But hearing the brunette try so hard to look over his friend's misery and cheer him up reminded him of the old times. Even though little Sora was now an adult and not as pure as he used to be, deep down, he was still the same person, always worried about him and trying to cheer him up.

"I missed you Sora," he sighed as he simply held onto him, burying his face into his friend's shoulder.

"I missed you too Riku. Don't ever think that I didn't."

Closing his eyes, he inhaled the younger man's scent. He even smelled different. His normal essence was still there but there was also the fragrance of expensive cologne, a hint of aftershave, and also of Leon. Even now, he smelled of the broody brunette, his distinct scent of overpowering masculinity. Sora was his now, he belonged with Leon.

Thinking about that, he smiled a bit. He was leaving Sora in good hands, with someone that he knew would watch over him better than he could possibly do and allow him to follow his dreams without holding him back.

For the rest of the night, they simply sat on the cold studio floor over hot coffee, reminiscing about the past and all of their most fond memories from their friendship and even a few from their broken relationship. Talking with him was surprisingly more comforting than he thought it was, after all, they had both went through the same thing. And watching the brunette's eyes light up as he talked about some of his favorite memories and greatest triumphs, he couldn't help but feel happy too. Things were actually going to work well between them and he knew it.

oO0Oo

_**And I'll be happy for you**_

_**If you can be happy for me**_

_**Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend**_

_**So far from where we've been**_

_**I know we're cool**_

_ And Insider exclusive! Famous multitalented artist Riku Ogawa is now engaged to long time girlfriend Princess Rikku Al Bhed. His publicist says that he proposed to the lucky lady during a private candlelit dinner on the romantic bank of Moonflow. The Insider team was there when the two met for the first time at Tidus Valefor's wedding to the princess' cousin Lady Yuna. However the princess didn't have such fond words for him then. _

_ Princess Rikku? What do you think about Riku Ogawa's work on the bride's gown? _

_ Oh, well it looks great on her, after all, Yunie's always so cute anyway, but I have nothing to say about that name stealer. _

_ You mean Riku Ogawa right? _

_ He's definitely not my favorite person right now. _

_ However, two years ago, they found each other at the unveiling of his "Neo" showcase and have been spotted being hot and heavy ever since from beaches to park benches world-wide. They have even been seen in the arms of each other during the princess' debut fashion show. So to the both of you, we're all rooting for you! Back to you Pat. _

_ Hopefully it won't flop like the Paris Paris engagement. Now onto… _

"Oh my God! Riku _is_ gonna marry her? Did you see that Squall? He's marrying Rikku!" exclaimed Sora in awe as he was changing the diapers of the small toddler before him. The little boy just squirmed and pouted at him, wanting to go and play with his sister. "Storm hold still or I'll have to put you into time out."

The little boy just glared and flapped his arms around as he started his tantrum.

"I told you he was going to marry her. They fight like a married couple already. It's a bit annoying actually," sighed Squall as he continued to read over his cases, looking at the time. Sora just rolled his eyes and finished with his son.

"You know what Squall, whenever I talk to you, you're always stuck deep in some kind of paperwork, counting down billable hours."

"Sorry love, but I have a lot to do now that I'm currently the only partner since Cloud is out on vacation," replied Squall dully as he turned the next page, his two hundredth one for the half an hour that he was there. Those four years ago, his husband decided to decline the offer from his previous employers and decided to start his own firm with one of his former lovers from law school. Since then, they have quickly become one of the top new firms in the country.

However, with all of the success of Leonheart and Strife, his husband has been juggling case after case, leaving little time for the brunette without being tired. Sora just groaned as he packed the rest of the diapers and things away into the bag.

"If I didn't know any better, I would even come to the conclusion that you are billing me in bed too," sighed Sora as he stood up, preparing to wash his hands so that he could ask the housekeeper for a snack.

"Actually, if we're talking about sex like last night, you, on the other hand, should be the one billing _me_."

"I think you accidentally recorded that Squall," said the younger man with a bashful blush. Squall simply looked down at the small device on the coffee table over his glasses and gave a small smirk.

"It'll give the secretaries a little excitement."

Sora just shook his head as he walked into the bathroom washing his hands off. Looking up at the mirror, he pouted as he saw a small gray hair peeking through his normal mess of brown locks. It was his second one in four years and he wasn't feeling very happy about it.

'Stupid kids,' he thought as he dried his hands off and plucked out the foreign hair. Cosette had started third grade and she already had three little boys vying for her affection. She was growing up and with each day she was becoming even more beautiful than he could have imagined her. And now with the addition of two-year-old Storm, life at the house was hectic.

In actuality, they had only planned to have Cosette and raise her like an only child, after all, Squall wasn't that fond of children. However, on a whim, Sora decided that he wanted to visit the adoption agency again since they now had a bigger increase in income. And when he first walked in, he saw little Storm sitting in the corner, watching the other kids play with sad blue eyes. At that moment, he knew that he needed to adopt him, he needed to come home with him.

"Daddy!" yelled the small brunette as he smacked his father's leg, grinning mischievously and running away giggling. Looking at his son, he was surprised that he and Leon hadn't truly conceived him themselves. His dull blue eyes would always flash from playful gazes to contemplation as he could be loud and childish at one time and broody and quiet at the next.

"Daddy! Storm is being a jerk again!" called out Cosette as she stomped angrily out of her room, pouting her cute face angrily. Sora just smiled and pat her sunny colored head, walking over towards his daughter's room.

Even though it dealt with a lot of chaos and having to juggle long hours of work, raising their now _two_ kids, and trying to please his husband when he had a bad day at court, life had never been better. And he had no one to thank but Riku. That night when he stayed with him, he had convinced him to go back and find Squall, to apologize for hurting him. His unresolved feelings for his former lover were hurting the happiness that he had and that no matter what, he knew that Riku would always support the two of them.

Riku, the one who had never really got over him, had actually been the one to help repair his relationship with Squall and because of that, the older brunette began to feel a bit more at ease around him and also respect him. Remembering the first time that his husband actually wished the artist luck on his art exhibition tour, Sora couldn't help but smile. Things were falling into place and no matter what happened in the past, they had gotten through it and it was all because of Riku.

"Thank you Riku," he thought as he opened the door, finding the little boy in a mass of flying cotton toy stuffing, holding a large stuffed bunny guiltily.

_**I know we're cool…**_

oo()()()()()()()()()()()()oo

A/N: Oh my gosh. I finally finished this! It took long enough! Seriously! I have been sweating and bleeding over this one shot, trying to make it good. And now it's finished! I'm so happy with the final result! I hope you all like it too! I mean, I know that it sucks that Riku and Sora weren't able to be together but I'm glad that it still had a happy ending.

My favorite scene for the whole thing was the one where Sora and Riku are trying to go to sleep. The tension was just amazing and I'm glad that I took the time to write it all out instead of simply rushing through it. It was a beautiful moment right there. But I feel so bad for Riku. I made him so angsty in this story. His family life was horrible and I stripped him down to nothing. cries But he's going to marry Rikku right? So everything will get better for him.

I hope you all enjoyed this a lot, I sure did. I still can't stop re-reading this thing! So please review with your thoughts and your favorite scenes. I'd totally love the feedback! Bye!


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